What if a Girl Says "Slay"? An In-Depth Look at the Meaning, History, and Usage of This Popular Slang Term - 33rd Square (2024)

Hey friend! Have you heard the word "slay" used in some intriguing new ways lately? If someone said to you "Yaaas slay!", "You‘re slaying it!", or called you a "slay queen", would you know how to respond? As a fellow slang connoisseur, let me break down for you the fascinating evolution of "slay" and all its modern definitions. Grab a snack, and let‘s get into it!

Where Did "Slay" Come From?

Like much of the best slang, "slay" emerged from the innovative LGBTQ+ community. Specifically, it originated in the underground ballroom scene of 1970s-80s New York City. This subculture featured voguing dance battles, runway walks, and fashion competitions among houses formed by Black and Latino LGBTQ youth.

To "slay a ball" meant to completely dominate the competition. According to linguist Connie Eble, the full saying was "slaying the children", referring to impressing or outdoing the other competitors (the "children"). This drag ball slang highlighted the fierce, unapologetic confidence and artistry of marginalized communities.

Throughout the 90s, slay became a popular form of praise in LGBTQ+ spaces to hype up queer performers, artists, fashion, and culture. It referred to excellence, fierceness, and bold self-expression in the face of oppression.

By the 2010s, slay crossed over from the queer community into mainstream slang, especially among young people. It became an effusive way to cheer someone on and celebrate successes of all kinds with excitement and pride. Let‘s explore all the fun modern variations!

How is "Slay" Used in Slang Today?

While slay originated decades ago, it remains a staple of Gen Z and Millennial lingo today. Here are some of the most common usages you‘ll hear:

As an Exclamation

One of the most popular ways to use slay is as an exclamatory interjection, like:

  • "Slay!"
  • "Yaaas slay!"
  • "Slay, queen!"

People often shout these phrases to communicate:

  • Praise and encouragement ("You got this, girl! Slay that test!")
  • Enthusiasm and excitement ("New Beyonce album? Slayyyy!")
  • Impressed reaction to a performance ("She SLAYED that dance routine!")
  • Celebrating an amazing look or outfit ("You are slaying in that dress!")
  • Acknowledging a hilarious or clever joke ("Hahaha slay!")

It‘s an effusive, hyperbolic way to cheer someone on with more excitement than just saying "Good job!" Think of it like proclaiming "Huzzah!" after a feudal victory.

As a Verb

You can also use "slay" as a verb meaning "to do exceptionally well". For example:

  • "She slayed her law school exams"
  • "He slayed that guitar solo at the concert last night"
  • "AOC slayed at the press conference today"

It‘s similar to saying "kill it", "knock it out of the park", or "hit it out of the ballpark" – conveying that someone performed amazingly.

As an Adjective

Using "slay" as an adjective elevates something to legendary status, like:

  • "Lady Gaga‘s outfit at the Met Gala was so slay"
  • "Have you seen Pose? The cast is straight fire slay"
  • "That finale episode of House of the Dragon was absolutely slay"

It communicates extreme awesomeness. Think of it as next level excellence!

To Compliment Vibe/Attitude

You can also use "slay" to compliment someone‘s energy and attitude, like:

  • "Dua Lipa was slaying with that confident vibe in her music video"
  • "I love how Janelle Monae slays with an air of mystery and allure"

It means they ooze coolness, style, fierceness, and self-assurance. Their whole aura and swagger is impressive.

As Inspiration or Encouragement

In a similar vein, "slay" can be used to inspire or encourage someone to succeed at a task or challenge:

  • "You‘re going to slay that presentation tomorrow, I believe in you!"
  • "Now slay this next level of the game!"
  • "Slay your anxiety and ask your crush out!"

Think of it as urging someone to "kill it" or give their all.

To Call Someone Out

On the flip side, "slay" can also be used confront someone or call them out, like:

  • "Don‘t slay my name like that!" (Don‘t insult me)
  • "Let‘s not slay each other and just have a healthy debate." (Let‘s not tear each other down)

So in summary, no matter how it‘s used, "slay" evokes a bold, unapologetic spirit of celebrating awesomeness and facing challenges fiercely. Next let‘s explore…

Who Uses "Slay" in Their Vocabulary?

While people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds employ "slay" casually in slang now, there are some communities most closely tied to its origins and usage:

LGBTQ+ Community

Given its roots in ballroom culture, "slay" remains closely linked to queer slang. It‘s especially common among gay men, drag queens, trans folks, genderfluid people, and others outside the cisgender mainstream. For marginalized LGBTQ+ folks, slaying one‘s look or performance can represent reclaiming power and bold self-expression.

African American Vernacular English (AAVE)

Like much slang, "slay" is also frequently used in Black conversational speech, especially by younger Black folks online. It taps into a history of creativity, subversion, and resilience in how Black communities shape language.

Female-Centered Groups

Thanks to its connotations of fierceness and confidence, "slay" is also popular among girl groups, feminists, and female influencers. Women often use it to gas each other up or celebrate displays of power.

Young People/Gen Z

As slang, "slay" is primarily used by youth and young adults like Gen Z or young millennials. However, it‘s also employed casually across ages. Even middle-aged folks may exclaim "Slay!" if Beyonce slays a high note.

Influencers and Content Creators

In the internet age, influencers, YouTubers, TikTokers, and other digital content creators have embraced "slay" in their videos and posts to seem cool and youthful. However, overly forced usage can feel pandering.

While slay originated in marginalized groups, it‘s now more mainstream. But because it celebrates bold self-expression, it remains prominent among communities seeking empowerment.

How Do People Feel About the Term "Slay"?

Given "slay‘s" complex history crossing between marginalized and dominant groups, opinions differ over whether it‘s empowering or problematic.

Reasons Why "Slay" is Empowering:

  • For LGBTQ+ folks, people of color, and other oppressed groups, "slay" represents reclaiming confidence and power in the face of discrimination.

  • It began as an unapologetically queer and Black form of expression in underground ball culture.

  • "Slay" promotes themes of self-love, nerve, flair, resilience, and resisting societal constraints.

  • It‘s an effusive way to uplift and encourage people that feels more nuanced than clapping or saying "congratulations".

Why Some Find "Slay" Problematic or Offensive:

  • Overusing "slay" casually can feel appropriative of LGBTQ+ and Black culture, especially by straight, cisgender, white folks.

  • Applying "slay" to mundane things like making breakfast diminishes its impact and meaning.

  • Some see "slay" as promoting unhealthy competition between women and unrealistic beauty standards set by photoshopped models.

  • Objectifying women as "slays" or "slay queens" based just on appearance, not substance.

  • Insincere use by brands or political groups to pander, instead of supporting LGBTQ+ and Black communities more meaningfully.

Perspectives on Nuance and Context

  • For marginalized communities, slaying one‘s look can be an act of reclaiming power. For privileged groups, it may uphold oppressive standards.

  • There are differences between using "slay" appreciatively vs. appropriatively. Respecting slay‘s roots matters.

  • "Slay queen" has different connotations between queer folks vs. cishet men. Consider power dynamics.

  • Using "slay" thoughtfully in the right context is different than forcing it awkwardly into every sentence. Moderation matters.

  • "You slayed your Law School LSATs!" feels more sincere than "Yaaas slay that basic breakfast oatmeal queen!"

  • Uplifting someone‘s talents and spirit seems more meaningful than objectifying their appearance.

  • As with any cultural borrowing, thoughtfulness about stereotypes, consent, and empowerment vs. mockery should guide usage.

So in summary, while "slay" has some nuances, it can be uplifting when used intentionally between consenting folks. But be thoughtful about respecting its roots and meaning.

How Can You Use "Slay" More Thoughtfully?

Here are some tips for how to start slaying responsibly:

Use It Precisely

Be selective about when "slay" authentically fits the context, instead of forcing it randomly into everyday sentences. Save it for occasions that truly warrant exaggerated praise.

Avoid Mockery or Appropriation

Don‘t use slay terms like "yaaas queen" to imitate or make fun of LGBTQ+ folks if you aren‘t part of those communities. Be aware of power dynamics and punching down.

Consider Your Audience

Know your crowd – for example, shouting "You slayed that presentation!" may go over better at a youth conference vs. a corporate board meeting.

Get Consent

Before describing someone else as a "slay", make sure they are comfortable with that kind of effusive language about themselves.

Uplift, Don‘t Objectify

Focus on uplifting people‘s talents, achievements, confidence, and spirit rather than reducing them to physical compliments.

Know the Roots

Do some research into the linguistic origins of "slay" so you can understand and respect where it came from. Knowledge fosters compassion.

Aim to Empower

Think about how using language like "slay" could make someone from a marginalized group feel empowered and seen rather than mocked or pandered to.

With thoughtfulness for respecting queer culture and heritage, "slay" can be wielded as a force for good!

Alternatives Beyond "Slay"

If you want to retire "slay" for a bit and try other exclamations of encouragement, here are some options to experiment with:

  • You rocked it!
  • You crushed it!
  • You nailed it!
  • You smashed it!
  • You killed it!
  • You aced it!
  • You owned it!
  • You conqured it!
  • Phenomenal job!
  • You‘re incredible!
  • I‘m obsessed with that!
  • Yaaas! Werk it! (in moderation)
  • Great moves, keep it up!
  • I‘m so proud of you!
  • You should feel amazing!
  • Celebrate yourself tonight, you earned it!

The key is hyping someone up without objectifying them. Praise their dedication, abilities, confidence, and essence – not just their outward appearance.

In Conclusion

I hope this breakdown helps explain the rich history of "slay", how it‘s used in modern slang, and some food for thought on using it respectfully. While it began as a bold queer and Black linguistic innovation, it‘s now more widely embraced. When wielded thoughtfully, "slay" can be a uniquely empowering way to champion yourself and your community. Now go forth and slay the day!

Let me know if you have any other slang terms you‘d like me to tackle in the future. I‘m always happy to nerd out over language evolution with a fellow etymology enthusiast like you!

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What if a Girl Says "Slay"? An In-Depth Look at the Meaning, History, and Usage of This Popular Slang Term - 33rd Square (2024)
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